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- PAIN2.TXT
- by
- Tiny Tucker
-
-
- The first thing I remember when I woke up is that I could not move my arms
- or legs. The room was bright and warm. When I finally got my eyes open all
- the way I looked around as best I could. The room I was in appeared to be a
- hospital room with one wall all glass. There were blinds on the glass, and
- they were open. There were tubes in my mouth and nose, and I could see
- wires running from my chest to a plug on the wall. I could feel the tube on
- my mouth running back into my throat, which was very sore. I tryed to
- mentally check the other pains in my body to see where they were coming
- from, but other than a tightness in my chest, I really couldn't isolate any
- other pain. Very soon after I awakened, I felt movement in the room, and a
- sweet, cheerful voice said "Welcome back, how do you feel?"
-
- A tall, slim strawberry blonde in a white blouse and skirt moved along side
- the bed where I could see her, and began listening to my chest with a
- stethoscope. I tried to answer her, but found the tube in my throat made me
- unable to speak. She fiddled with the knob of a machine that was connected
- to the tube in my throat, then took my blood pressure with a cuff that had
- been laying on my left arm. When she had completed that task, she reached
- down to the siderail of the bed and the head of the bed began to rise. I
- could see more of my body then. I was naked on top of the bed, with tubes
- that I hadn't noticed before running into my arm, and another tube had been
- inserted in my penis. My hands were tied to the siderails with some type of
- soft cloth strips, and similar strips were attached to my ankles.
-
- "I called the Doctor as soon as I saw you were awake - she should be here
- any time. I will ask her if we can remove the indotrachial tube - that's
- the one in your throat." I tryed to nod my head, and found that even that
- slight movement caused the tube in my throat to hurt even more. She then
- dropped the lower part of the siderail and sat on the edge of the bed. I
- could see her hand on my leg, but couldn't feel anything down there. "Can
- you feel my hand?" she asked. I shook my head slightly. "That is what we
- were afraid of, but don't worry, we think it may just be temporary." From
- where her hand was on my leg, I should have been getting a definite
- reaction, but nothing was happening.
-
- "By the way, my name is Valarie. I am an intensive care nurse here at the
- hospital. How much do you remember of what happened?" Everything was hazy,
- so I just shrugged my shoulders. "We don't even know your full name, the
- girl who dropped you off at the emergency room told the triage nurse that
- your name was Jamie, and then she left before we could find anything else
- out."
-
- At this point a woman in a white lab coat entered the room. She was shorter
- than Valarie, and not as slim, with her dark hair pulled back into a
- ponytail. There was a stethiscope dangling from her pocket, and a metal
- clipboard was open in her hands. She nodded briefly at Valarie, and said
- "how are the vitals?" "The pulse and blood pressure are still elevated, the
- respirations are 18, and the lung sounds are clear" Valarie replied. "The
- EKG has been steady, with no sighs of additional muscle damage." As I
- listened to her report, I wondered what had happened.
-
- "The ET tube can be removed now that the patient has regained consiousness"
- the blonde told Valarie. "See if you can find out any more about the
- patient's history and what happened to him, I'll stop back in a little
- while to examine him." "OK Doctor, I'll go ahead and remove the tube. Is
- the patient still NPO?" "Some ice chips will be alright, his throat will be
- sore from the tube, but nothing else by mouth till we decide what our next
- step will be," the Doctor replied.
-
- As the Doctor left, Valarie pushed the button to drop the head of my bed
- back down. Two women in maroon came into the room. "Do you need a hand,
- Val?" "Thanks, help me pull the bed out, the doc just authorized the
- removal of the ET tube." The tube was disconnected just above my mouth, a
- syringe filled from a small tube connected to the larger tube, and then the
- whole thing was pulled from my throat and mouth. I tried to speak but could
- only rasp, "thank you, that feels better already."
-
- Valarie asked "can you tell me your full name?" "My name is Jim Tucker," I
- replied, "Wasn't my drivers license and Id in my wallet?"
-
- "When you were brought in, you had two possessions - a blue nightgown and a
- butt plug, nothing else. It also looks like you have been sexually abused
- and tortured. In case you haven't noticed there is not a hair on your body
- and your testicles have recieved some type of electrical burn. You also
- have the same type of burn on your back."
-
- "How long have I been here?" I painfully inquired. "About 10 days now" She
- replied, "but this is the first time you have been consious. You had better
- try to save your voice, the Doctor may want to talk to you soon." She
- raised the back of the bed till I was in a semi-reclined position. "Can you
- tell me what happened to you?" Valarie again sat on the edge of the bed,
- and her hand trailed along my legs, moving up and down along them.
-
- "Well," I told her, "I was supposed to go to a clinic for some tests my
- Doctor ordered, but I can't remember whether I made it there or not. Can
- you cover me up, I'm a little uncomfortable like this." "If you think
- you're uncomfortable now, you ought to see what will happen if I cover you
- up. Every time we try, you break out in a violent rash. We had to put satin
- sheets on the bed to keep your back from breaking out. We're trying to find
- something you are not allergic to, but we haven't found it yet. It may have
- something to do with whatever was used to remove your hair."
-
- "Well, how about untying my hands, I'm not going anywhere like this." "No,"
- she replied, "I can't do that until we learn more about what went on, and
- what your mental state is. The Doctor will be able to explain more when she
- gets back." Getting up from the edge of the bed, she raised the portion of
- the rail she had dropped to sit down, and took a silver object from her
- pocket. She went to the foot of the bed, and I could see her run the silver
- object up the sole of my foot. The toes curled slightly, but I didn't feel
- anything. "Good," she said," that is the first reaction we have gotten from
- your legs. Did you feel it?" I just shook my head to let her know I did
- not.
-
- After fussing around the room for a few minutes, she sat down in a chair on
- the side of the bed. After a few minutes one of the other nurses came over
- to the open doorway and asked her if she wanted relief for lunch, but she
- said she would wait till the Doctor got done with me. "Don't you have other
- patients to check?" I asked. "No, as long as you are restrained like this,
- one of us will be right here. You are the only patient I have assigned to
- me, and I've been with you most of the days since you got here. The same is
- true on the other two shifts, you'll meet Lynn and Pat tonight."
-
- After what seemed like hours, the Doctor returned to examine me. Valarie
- showed her the response from the soles of my feet, and the doctor seemed
- pleased that there was some improvement. The Doctor probed and poked for a
- few minutes. then had Valarie drop the head of the bed and roll me over
- onto my side. In order to do this, the restraints has to be removed from
- one side, but it was done one limb at a time. The Doctor told me that I had
- hit one nurse just after I arrived in what appeared to be a siezure, and
- had put her in the hospital with a broken jaw. I could feel the Doctor
- probing around my anus, but it didn't feel too bad. when I commented on it
- I was told that I was still being given medication for pain, that it had
- taken 10 stitches to close the damage from what had been done to me. I
- looked back while I was on my side, and I could see red splotches where my
- backside had broken out from the sheets. After the Doctor completed her
- exan, I was returned to the position I had been laying in before the exam,
- and the restraints were resecured.
-
- The Doctor said "I have both good news and bad news for you. At this point,
- it appears that you will regain feeling and use of your legs in the near
- future. They should get better every day. You have some cardiac damage, and
- I do not think that we can save your testicles, they are badly damaged from
- the electrical burn and should be surgically removed. We need to get your
- personal physician involved, can you give me his name?"
-
- I gave them Doc's name, they said they would call him in immediately. After
- the Doctor left, I was laying there thinking about what she had said. I
- hoped she was wrong, but she sure seemed like she knew what she was doing.
- "Is there someone we should call, to let them know you are here?" Valarie
- asked. I shook my head, as tears began to form in the corners of my eyes.
- "No, not right now. I suppose I will have to call my office to let them
- know where I am, but I don't have any family or close friends in the area."
- "Shouldn't we let your boss know?" "Well you can give my company a call,
- but I own the business so I don't have to answer to anyone."
-
- Valarie could see I was very upset at what the Doctor has said. She again
- came over to sit along side of me on the bed after moving the rail, and put
- her hand on my leg. "There are worse things that you could have lost, you
- should be happy that you won't be paralyzed for life." She drew circles on
- my legs as she spoke. In the old days, just having a beautiful woman like
- her near me would have gotten me excited, but here I was, naked,
- restrained, and with this doll touching me, and I couldn't even get it up.
-
- "The Hospital will need your insurance information. While I am sure you
- don't need another worry, this is a pretty expensive room, especially with
- private duty nurses for 24 hours a day. Do you know what kind of insurance
- you have?"
-
- "Why don't you call my office and talk to the office manager, her name is
- Nancy, she will have all of the information. Tell her to have Tom set up a
- cash account also, that will provide for anything that the insurance
- company will not cover and then I won't have to be bothered about it."
-
- "All right," Valarie said, "We'll give them a call. How much should I tell
- them about your problem?"
-
- "Just tell them I was shocked and will be here for a while. They are used
- to me being gone for long stretches and are capable of operating things
- without me."
-
- Valarie called one of the other girls and gave her the information to make
- the calls. Iasked why there was no telephone in the room, but was told that
- it was normal, they didn't want intensive care patients bothered by
- telephone calls. Every few minutes Valarie would get up, and check in the
- solutions running into my arm, and on the wires running to my chest. One
- time, I felt her soft uniform brushing against my chest, and thought I felt
- a stiring in my groin. I looked down, but couldn't see any difference.
- After a few hours like this, a tiny blonde with long hair came into the
- room and Valarie began updating her on my condition. I didn't understand
- much of what was being said, but listened anyway. After Valarie completed
- her briefing, the blonde came over to the edge of the bed, and said,"It's
- nice of you to rejoin us, it's been pretty lonely sitting here the past
- week. I'm Lynn, and I will be with you for the next 8 hours." She rechecked
- the monitor, wires, solutions, and took my blood pressure. After a few
- minutes Valarie came over and gave me a hug over the railing and said that
- she would see me in the morning.
-
- Lynn worked basically the same way as Valarie had, sitting on the edge of
- the bed when she wasn't busy and touching me on the legs, chest, and arm. I
- asked if this wasn't unusual in these days if Aids, and Lynn explained that
- this was the way that the nurses were taught to show that they cared, and
- all of them felt skin to skin contact was important, especially in cases
- like mine. She also said that an HIV test had been run on my blood and was
- negative.
-
- Lynn opened up a package she had brought in with her, and pulled out a
- white half slip. She laid it across my belly and groin, and it was the
- smoothest thing I had ever felt. At that point it was probably better that
- I didn't have feeling in my groin, or my hardon would have made it look
- like a tent.
-
- "This is pure silk, and the dermatologist thinks it is the only material
- that will not irritate your skin. I went out to buy it this morning so we
- would have something to cover you with."
-
- I thanked her for her thoughtfullness and told her as soon as someone from
- my office came in I would make arrangements to have some money to pay her
- back. At least there was something covering me if someone did come in.
-
- Within the next hour, a tray was brought in. There was no solid food on it,
- only broth and jello, but at least I was going to be allowed to eat. Lynn
- put the tray on a moveable table and rolled ot over to the bed, and put
- down the top side rail. She began feeding me. I asked if I couldn't feed
- myself, but she said she would rather do it. Lynn is a tiny woman, and her
- long hair and soft arms brushed against me many times as she fed me. After
- dinner one of the girls at the desk outside the room called to Lynn and
- said that I had a visitor. It was Nancy, who manages my office.
-
- Nancy is of oriental descent, and it is obvious in her features, with long,
- straight black hair. She is fairly tall for a Japanese, about 5'5", and
- slender. She never fails to excite me when I see her, but that is not why
- she was hired. She has began working for me some years ago as a secretary,
- and had proved so competent that she was promoted to my executive assistant
- and office manager after just a few years. I had always made it a point to
- keep my personal life separate from my business life, so as much as I
- wanted to, I had never asked her out. "What happened to you? We were all
- wondering where you went off to without calling in, and when the hospital
- called I came right over."
-
- "I don't really know what happened, they told me I recieved an electrical
- shock and I don't have any feeling in my legs. My heart also was damaged.
- The doctors haven't told me alot yet."
-
- "Are those burns on your side? What happened to your hair?"
-
- "No, they think both the hair and the rash are from something else." I
- didn't think I wanted to go into this any further, but Lynn jumped in and
- started to explain that they still didn't know exactly what was wrong.
-
- Lynn then asked Nancy to wait outside for a minute, and said to me "you
- know, she really does care about you. Val said that you don't have any
- family here, but you will need for someone to help you to make decisions
- for you as time goes on. What do you think asking Nancy for help?"
-
- After thinking for a minute, I could see that Lynn was right, and I
- couldn't think of anyone else I could ask who would care half as much about
- my welfare. I said as much to Lynn, and she called one of the other girls
- in to the room to sit with me and took Nancy down for a cup of coffee and a
- talk.
-
- When they came back, you could see that Nancy had been crying, and she came
- over and hugged me. "I'm so sorry, I don't know why anyone would want to do
- such a thing to you. I am going to call Tom and tell him that I will be
- spending time with you. He will keep the office going while we work on
- getting you better."
-
- Lynn then told Nancy that she would not be able to stay with me any more
- tonight, that the visitors rules were very strict on that issue. Nancy
- kissed me goodby and said she would stop in the next morning. lynn reminded
- her to bring in the clothing they has discussed, as I would need something
- to cover me up a little more.
-
- After Nancy left, Lynn checked the tube which ran from my penis. She said
- that she would leave a note for the doctor to see if it could be removed
- but the doctor probably would want to leave it in until I got feeling back
- in my legs. Then, after checking me over again, she turned on the
- Television over the foot of my bed, and sat on the side of the bed along
- side my legs to watch with me. As was the case with Valarie, while she was
- sitting there she continually was touching me. We watched quietly for a
- while, and then she decided it was time for my sponge bath. The silk slip
- covering my middle was removed, and she commented that the dermatologist
- was correct, as I had not broken out from the touch of the silk. She washed
- me all over in front, and when that was completed she moved all of the
- restraint straps to one side and had me roll over so she could do by back
- side. After she was done washing me she gave me a backrub. Her touch was
- comforting to me, and I could tell as we talked she was concerned about my
- recovery. I was starting to get sleepy, even though I had been napping on
- and off all day, so Lynn resecured the restraints to their previous
- position, dimmed the lights and lowered the head of the bed for me as I
- dozed off.
-
- I must have slept for a few hours, and when I awoke I found a different
- nurse in my room. She was checking the restraints and jumped a little when
- she saw I was awake. I could feel a difference in the room from before -
- she seemed nervous, unlike the calm demeanor of the other two nurses. She
- didn't seem to have much to say, so I tryed to find a more comfortable spot
- to lie in and went back to sleep. Later on, I again awoke to find Valarie
- with the new nurse. It apparently was morning, and as the new nurse was
- talking to Valarie I could see she was having trouble talking. Her face was
- framed by dark hair, and it seemed as if the side of her face was
- discolored. Soon after I woke she left. I asked Valarie who she was, and
- Valarie said that her name was Pat, and she was the reason I was to remain
- in restraints. It seems I had hit her on my first day in the hospital, and
- broken her jaw. She had trouble talking and the side of her face was still
- bruised.
-
- While Valarie was starting her morning checks, my doctor walked in and
- introduced himself to her. He came over and examined me, and this time when
- the metal object ran up the soles of my feet I could feel it. The female
- doctor who was in yesterday also came in, and began showing Doc the various
- injuries and damage I had suffered. They poked and probed for some time,
- and then went out to talk. They came back in after a short time and told
- Valarie that the foley could be removed as soon as my testing was
- completed. I asked what that was, and they told me it was the tube in my
- penis.
-
- The two doctors said that there would be some tests done, including a
- biopsy of my testicles. They said that the consent forms would be brought
- in, and asked about next-of kin. I explained that there wasn't any, but
- that Nancy should be consulted if they needed to talk to someone. They said
- that they would need for her to have a power of attorney in case a decision
- was needed and I was unable to make it. I told them she should be in soon,
- and they said the forms would be ready.
-
- Just after they left, Nancy came in. I introduced Valarie, and the two of
- them talked as if they were old friends. The two of them sat on opposite
- sides of the bed, both of them touching my legs to see if I could feel it.
- My mind was excited, even if my body was still incapable of joining the
- feeling. The papers were filled out, and within minutes, I was wheeled out
- by a crew of four people in surgical garb. A mask was placed over my face,
- and then I was asleep.
-